The Wisdom of Ceasing from Strife

The book of Proverbs often speaks to the real, messy situations of life. One such moment of profound insight comes from Proverbs 20:3:

“Glory to a man resting from strife, but every fool will disclose themselves.”

This proverb begins with an important assumption: the person is already in strife. Strife is not simply any disagreement — it is a bitter or angry conflict, often over fundamental issues that people feel passionately about. It’s not foolish to find oneself caught in strife. After all, disagreements, even over important matters, are part of living in a broken world.

But what matters is what we do once we realize we are in strife.

Strife unites people, but in a toxic way. It binds people together with anger, bitterness, and high emotional energy. It creates a connection, but one that drains, divides, and destroys. In contrast, the kind of unity brought about by peace is restful, tolerant, and oriented toward healing and reconciliation. It is far better to be united by peace than by strife.

This is why it brings glory to a man when he chooses to cease from strife.

Glory does not come from stubbornly staying in the fight or from “winning” the argument.

Glory comes from recognizing the nature of the conflict and wisely stepping away, seeking peace rather than prolonging division. It takes humility, discernment, and courage to break away from the gravitational pull of conflict.

But a fool is different.

A fool despises peace.

A fool seeks out strife and clings to it.

In refusing to leave the fight, the fool exposes his own character. His need for conflict, his love of contention, becomes obvious to all.

The wise person does not cling to conflict.

He may find himself in strife, but once he sees it for what it is, he chooses the harder but nobler path: he flees from it, seeking unity grounded in peace.

The fool, by contrast, seeks and pursues strife.

And in doing so, he shows everyone exactly who he is.